Peace on Earth

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Decorating Ideas

I was at Hallmark the other day buying Christmas cards when I happened across a few very nice looking Disney character figurines. I'm usually not a fan of small decorative figures but these ones were nice. Then I remembered that this is where I bought the Disney plaques that I have in my room as well.

I love Disney for so many reasons. They really create magical experiences. They don't skimp on anything. I remember watching the fireworks at Magic Kingdom and having all of my adult fears and worries melt away. I was completely in the moment....a child again in a magical world of lights and music. It was wonderful! I loved watching the Pluto and Donald Duck cartoons as a kid and I loved working for the company at Pop Century while I was in college.

I would love to decorate my room with Disney again the next time we move but I don't want it to look tacky or too young. I love my room right now but I'm a little embarrassed to have friends visit. I would love something fun yet tasteful. I'm envisioning warm beige or cream colored walls with black trim, black furniture and a fuzzy rug under the bed if there isn't carpet. There would be figurines, plaques, etc scattered about the room but it will look nice. Something along these lines....http://www.bedinabagbeddingsets.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/s5-small.jpg. Something that reminds me of magical happiness but isn't too in-your-face.

Bah!

My little has been hanging around a lot lately. She's being all needy and whiny and I can't make her go away. Whenever I try to talk to Tom, she comes out instead. Sometimes I need to have adult conversations and I can't do that with her enveloping every word I say. Tom and I went for a walk last night and she got excited about seeing all of the Christmas lights but then she got all sad and whiny again this morning. What the heck? I wish I could figure it out. I think it's because she's mostly alone in her excitement about Christmas. Daddy DID just watch a Christmas movie with her though so she isn't really alone. *shrugs* Or maybe it's something else. Either way, I wish she would stop being so clingy. I can't be little ALL the time. The strange thing is, I'M doing fine. I'm happy. Things are going well. So I dunno. Maybe she'll settle after Christmas.

It's Christmas Time

Christmas is almost here! And my birthday too! And it snowed yesterday for the real firstest time ever this year! I love it! I love the lights that are everywhere. I love the hot chocolate and the music and the cheer. I love cake for my birthday. I love letters to Santa and sparkling snow. I love advent calendars. I love mittens and footie pajamas. I love the Christmas trees and the presents. I love stockings. I love that Santa waved at me at the mall the other day. I simply love this time of year. Hurray!

I can't wait to build snowmen in the back yard and go ice skating outside at Empire State Plaza. I can't wait to catch a snowflake on my tongue and make snow angels. I can't wait to go sledding and snow shoeing. I can't wait to open presents and spend some time with my family. I can't wait to bake cookies and leave them out for Santa. I can't wait! I can't wait! I can't wait!

The Society is in Trouble

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Fun Day of Little

Yesterday was a pretty awesome day. First Daddy helped me take a shower. He even brushed my teeth for me, which put me into little headspace immediately. I love when he does that. Then Tom made some lunch for the both of us while I sat at the table and colored. I had a diaper on, my onesie, and a GIANT blanket wrapped around me. We ate a wonderful lunch of Spaghetti O's and dinosaur chicken nuggets in our colorful plastic bibs. Tom still somehow managed to get sauce on his white shirt. Silly little boy. He's got skills! We used our sippy cups and "little" plates and cutlery and had a wonderful time. Then we put some futon mattresses out on the living room floor and did some more coloring while watching Madagascar. We invited a few friends over who finished watching the movie with us and then we all walked over to the ice cream shop to play chess and eat ice cream. We finished off the day with some rock climbing and another movie on the futon mattresses. Totally satisfying! It was so nice to be little like this.

Giggles and Wiggles

Step One: Wrap boy in saran wrap from head to toe, plug his ears, and cover his eyes. Giggle as he tries to wiggle to the bed without the use of his legs.

Step Two: Touch boy's naughty parts with soft silky hands. Giggle as he wiggles and moans in pleasure.

Step Three: Attach boy's parts to electricity (aka TENS unit). Giggle widly as he wiggles like mad and makes lots of unintelligible sounds.

I'm so mean! :-)

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Jello in a Bag

Strange. Tasty. Low calorie. Makes me feel little and happy. 

Hogtied

The other night, Tom decided to hogtie me and then spank me with a rubber hose thingy and a crop. That was fun. I enjoyed fighting it and trying to get out of it. I kinda wish he had hit me a bit harder and longer but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Then he brought out my hitachi and a little personal touch. That was a lot of fun too. I had an orgasm or two and was close to squirting but didn't quite get there. When it was time for bed, he left my cuffs and collar on. I surprisingly had a hard time with this and begged him to let me free. He eventually conceded and we both dozed off.

Being in bondage seems to be quite challenging for me. I always try to get out of it and usually succeed but I have a hard time dealing with it when I don't. I get ridiculously frustrated and almost angry. I sort of start to panic a bit and will do anything to get out. Despite the fact that it wasn't really bondage, I felt the same way about being locked in that diaper last week. Maybe I don't really like having a lack of control? Maybe I like the ILLUSION of a lack of control? It's been interesting trying to sort that out in my head. I've been chewing on it all week.

I realize that you can't see half of the video. Sorry about that. I tried to fix it. The lyrics are the important part anyway.

Jokes.com
The Chalks - Hog Wild
comedians.comedycentral.com
Jokes Joke of the Day Funny Jokes

Diaper Dilemma

Daddy put me in a cloth diaper last night and zip tied the pins so that I couldn't take them off. When I woke up this morning, I found a clean diaper on the kitchen counter with a note saying that I should add it to what I was already wearing and he would release me at noon. Humph! I'm a big girl and don't even need diapers.

The zip tie goes through the hole at the end of the pin.

Sweet Surprise

Things have been pretty stressful around my house lately so I haven't been doing a lot of "little" stuff. Some people use "little" time for stress release but I tend to turn that side off when I'm stressed. So the other day, before work, I asked my Daddy if we could watch a movie with teddy grahams and a bottle of milk in the evening. When I got home that night, Daddy whisked me away and put me in double diapers. Then we went out for Indian food. I asked him if we could stop at the store for some teddy grahams after dinner but he said no. I was disappointed and a little sad. When we got home, we sat down to watch a movie. In the middle of the movie, Daddy went to the kitchen. I thought he was just fixing himself a drink but when he came back, he had teddy grahams and a bottle of milk in his hand. I was elated. It was such a nice surprise. Just what I needed. It was great to be little again.

Footies!

I got new footie pajamas! They're Eeyore! Look, look, look!

This guy didn't get downloaded correctly but you get the idea.

Silly Pictures

Tom and I stopped in at a costume shop after the ageplay munch a little while ago. I can't go into a costume shop without trying on at LEAST a dozen hats and masks. Tom decided to take a picture of it.

These plastic pants came out of the laundry one night and Tom thought it would be funny to put them on over my pants. He thought it was especially funny because my shirt says "AB Hero" on it. I just happen to be blood type AB positive, which makes me a universal plasma donor so they like me at the Red Cross.

Daddy has a special pocket on his jeans for licorice. I thought that was funny. I have to be good when he's carrying licorice though because those things hurt when you get hit with them.

October Littles Invasion

The invasion last Saturday was a blast! I dressed up as Raggedy Ann and Tom was a pretty pretty princess girl. We also had a maid, Spongebob, a western sheriff in diapers, and a devil....among others. We played marco polo in the dark, which was awesome. The crinkles were a dead giveaway for some people. Then we all sat down for a yummy meal at the decorated table. That turned into a finger fight, which is kinda like a food fight except you use rubber fingers instead. *grins* Then we had a sock sliding contest and body bowling using a sex swing and disinfectant containers. Fun, fun, fun! Towards the end of the night, I put Tom on a spanking bench and gave him a whoopin' and then he did the same to me. It was a great night filled with fun, friends, and laughter.

My Raggedy Ann Costume

Tommy's Behind

Pie

This is what happens when little girls are left alone at home....upside down pumpkin pie. *grins* Oops!

Babysitting

My little was feeling a bit needy today so I did what I could to make her happy. I dressed in a pull up and onesie and then put some adult clothes on over it. I cooked a pizza and had some cookies and hot chocolate. I lit a candle, turned the lights down low, and snuggled under a blanket to watch Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. It was the perfect movie because it excited my little while still satisfying my adult need for mental stimulation. It felt a little bit like I was babysitting rather than actually being little, if that makes any sense at all. Regardless of what it was, I felt pretty content. Just what I needed. Looking forward to some sleep now.   Ni ni!

Squidogs!!!

Daddy Tomhead and I made squidogs the other night. It was a practice run for the Halloween littles invasion. They were so much fun to eat! All you have to do is stick spaghetti into hot dogs that have been cut into 3 pieces and then boil them. Don't stick the spaghetti in too far though or it won't cook. It will stay stuck, even if it's only pushed in a 1/4 of an inch. Try them! We ended up dipping them into a ketchup/mustard mix when they were done. Yum!

Littles Night @ The Society - Halloween Feast

General info

date:	Saturday, October 15, 2011
time:	04:00 PM to 02:00 AM
where:	The Society
address:	806 Windsor Ave Hartford, CT (AVE, not STREET)  map

cost:	$20 to get in ($15 if you are a member)
dress code:	Halloween costume.

Description

Description

On Saturday October 15th there will be a Littles event being held down at the Society in Hartford, Ct. The Society is a fully equipped and comfortable dungeon space and, for that night, the littles will be taking over!

DETAILS

*RSVP is required (unless you are a member of The Society)

*$20 to get in ($15 if you're a member)

*Must be 21 or older to attend

*doors open at 4pm and close at 2am

*If you're planning to sleepover with the Littles you MUST email Ella on Fetlife (look for lil_ella)

DEMO/ACTIVITY

Spooks and spirits and ghosts await, come to the space and learn your fate. The Littles will be having a Halloween party and feast! Dress up in your scariest, cutest, funniest costumes and come join us for the fun. If you want to, carve a pumpkin at home and enter it into the contest. You might just win a prize. Make sure to bring a dish to share....fingers, brains, bloody punch, or eyeballs...whatever suits your fancy. 

As usual there will be a sleepover followed by brunch at a local diner on Sunday. There is plenty of crash space and we always have lots of fun so don't be shy. If you're interested in the sleepover you must email Ella on Fetlife (lil_ella) in order to get on the list.

THINGS TO BRING

*Food dish or snack to share.

*Costume

*Pumpkin (Optional)

*Toys

*Sleeping gear if you're on the sleepover list (air mattress, etc)

THE SOCIETY'S SPACE

A little more about the space... there are many rooms for many different purposes. There will be a room set aside for non-sexual/non-threatening age-play. There might be sexual play in the rest of the space, however, sexual intercourse and oral sex are not allowed. You can wear whatever little clothing you're comfortable in (they've seen diapers before so feel free to wear) or a costume if you'd prefer. Not everyone there will be age-players but expect an open minded environment.

RSVP & CRASH SPACE

There is crash space available for folks that ask me ahead of time, but there are also really cheap hotels in the area too. To get on the guest list, just email Ella on Fetlife (lil_ella) with Littles Night in the subject line and make sure to mention if you'll be needing crash space so I can give you more information.

RIDE-SHARING

I'm hoping that you folks with cars will be willing to do some ride-sharing...please post to this thread if you have space to offer or if you are looking for a ride and I can try to help you coordinate.

It should be a lot of fun and I hope you can make it!

Jaded

Somebody on Fetlife asked me if I liked being punished. It struck me as odd despite the fact that I've been asked that question hundreds of times before. Why is it odd? I wondered. I've been punished before, have always loved pain, and have talked about it openly for years. What has changed?

I've moved past the point where talking about BDSM excites me. I've done so many things in person that talking about it doesn't do anything for me. I hate to say it but it might be the case that I've become a bit jaded. I don't have to fantasize with words anymore. I can fantasize with feeling. 

The implements of BDSM still arouse me and so do images of it in the movies. Actually having it done to me is a different story though. It's boring. Maybe it's because I've become more confident and happy in my life and don't need to punish myself anymore. I've moved past the traumas of childhood. Or maybe it's because I'm jaded. 

I seem to have moved to the two opposite ends of the spectrum. I like the really scary extreme stuff and I like the super innocent fluffy ageplay stuff. I've done everything else in between so there's no wonder to it anymore. There's no more curiosity or excitement about it. I know it.

You really have to scare me now. Play with my mind. I seem to enjoy the mental side of submission and BDSM much more now than I used to. When pain is mixed with mental play, it's a lot more stimulating. Perhaps that's why medical play is still such a turn on.... it still scares me. You gotta make me believe it. Make it real. Now THAT's hot.

All KINDS of stuff!!!

Daddy just changed me into a pretty pink top, put a headband on me, stuck a paci in my mouth, and surrounded me with teddies. Then he sat me down in front of my computer (which has been out of service for quite some time) and told me to write. So here I am.

First of all, here are the pics I promised:

That's Big George, Samantha, Winter, and Sally. Maggie gets a special place on my bed. She's like Woody in Toy Story. *smiles*

That bowl was going to have a betta in it but I put him in a bigger tank. 

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." 

"If you can dream it, you can do it."

Both Walt Disney quotes.

Tinkerbell's wand, wings, and shoes blink when you press them!

That decal on the wall is 3D and sparkly and that giant crayon is filled with money for a rainy day. My ceiling has glow in the dark stars that you can only see at night. Unfortunately, they won't show up on my camera.

So Daddy and I have been staying busy. We're completely moved in to the house and I've started my job. Daddy is also starting a new job soon. We've been hosting the littles much regularly at the mall here in Albany. We haven't had a huge turnout but I hope that will change with some more advertising and word of mouth. We went to a collaring ceremony (Congratulations Rayne and Tarin!) and we've been playing a lot on our own. Daddy makes me little a lot, which I love, love love! I get to do all sorts of fun things like playing in the park during rainstorms while wearing a rain suit. I also get to turn him into a sissy a lot. Shhhh.... He doesn't like to tell anyone so it's a secret. Here are some pics:

Hmmm....what else? I'm sure there's more but I'm excited about going for a walk right now so it's hard to think....especially while in little headspace. It's my favorite time of year....Autumn. The air is crisp and the smell of fireplaces fills the air. I can't wait to go apple-picking and maybe to the corn maze. I also can't wait for the leaves to start falling. I love going for walks and hearing the crunch of the dry leaves under my feet.

Anyway, I'm sure that I'll be blogging more regularly now that my computer is up and running again.

A New Life

Well, Tom and Jenny and I have found a new place to live. We've been moving there slowly over the last couple of weeks. We'll be finished moving by the end of the month. I'm so excited about it! I picked a room in the basement and turned it into a little girl room. I painted it lavender. I have a 3D Tinkerbell on the wall with pixie dust trailing behind her all around the room. I also painted my ceiling with glow in the dark paint to look like stars. I have a twinkling tinkerbell comforter and my teddies and my little stuff and it feels good. My little side loves it but my big side is a little embarrassed by it. I don't really want any of my friends to see it unless they're ageplayers. Eeep!

I'm also excited about my new job. I start in about 2 weeks or so. I've been waiting for this for MONTHS now. I'm going to be a support manager at PetSmart. Not a very glamorous job but I have a feeling that this is going to be good for me. They really want me to move up the chain pretty quickly.....and I'll be working with animals and pet products and pet owners...all things that make me happy. I'm a little concerned about the wacky retail schedule. I'll be working mornings, evenings, some weekends, and everything else in between. I'm wondering if I can still get the parrot that I've been looking into for the last few months with such a crazy schedule. Hmmm....

I'm so excited! A new room, a new house, a new job. I get to be around my friends and my boyfriend more often. I get to have a stable life again. No more crazy travelling. No more waiting. I feel like I've spent the last 6 months in a holding pattern, circling between Vermont and New York, just waiting for something to happen. I'm looking forward to having a home again. I'm looking forward to having a Christmas tree with my new family and being able to decorate the house for Halloween and being able to have friends over for rock band. This is going to be a good. I know it is.

Pictures of my room to come!

The Little Things

Such little things make me happy...like milk in a funny glass.

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Diapers and Dominoes

I really needed some little time this weekend so I asked my Tom to help me out. He was happy to oblige. When I got to Albany last night, he had set up a cloth diaper for me. He diapered me all up and tucked me in and then told me not to leave the room until he came and got me. Then he went to bed with his wife in the other room. The next morning, I had no choice to wet my diaper because Daddy was taking too long to come and get me. *blushes*

Later at night I got out my paci while we were watching tv, which started a dominoe effect. Daddy started to see me as a little girl so he tickled me and squeezed me and snuggled me. Then he sat me down at the table with a sippy cup and dominoes which was super fun! I haven't played with dominoes in FOREVER! I'll upload a video of it as soon as I can.

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I Miss Disney

Last night, I was looking for something on Netflix to drift off to sleep to. I kept clicking on different kids movies and shows but none of them really pulled me in so I finally settled on a Strawberry Shortcake movie. I tried to sink down into my little headspace but it wasn't happening. The animals in the movie were so annoying that I just couldn't let go. The constant barking and crowing had my adult brain going nuts! It was like Chinese water torture. *tink, tink, tink, tink* Luckily, Tom walked in and distracted me.

I find that a lot of the newer cartoons are annoyingly repetitive and loud. I miss the cartoons that I used to watch as a kid. They had a symphony playing in the background, not noise, and they spoke in real voices, not whiny shrill voices. They were simple and fresh and not chock full of flashy pictures. No wonder there are so many kids with ADHD these days. How can you focus on anything when you're being bombarded with strobe-like pictures and lots of noise?

I ended up listening to my Disney music on the way home from Albany this morning and reveled in the memories. I miss my Disney cartoons. I wonder if I can find them on DVD somewhere. I want the classics....Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy. There's nothing better than the classics.

Bunches of Stuff

What a great couple of days. Went to Great Escape with my sister on Saturday. It was a quiet low key adventure. We mostly stayed low to the ground. No roller coasters for us. It was fun. We had a movie night back at home with snacks and Despicable Me. Sunday brought John and I camping at one of the state parks. I enjoyed cooking hot dogs and s'mores over the fire. On Monday, we went tubing down the white river, which was a blast. Definitely want to do that again. We had a "picnic" in the middle of the river and watched some kids jump off a bridge as we floated along. On the way back, we stopped at a gorgeous waterfall. On Tuesday, we drove around the back country roads of Vermont, went kayaking at Lake Carmi, and went swimming. Then we experimented back at the campsite with peppermint patties and Reeses peanut butter cups instead of Hershey bars in our s'mores. Yum! We sat by the fire quietly as a raccoon came and went. That was pretty neat. It was definitely an enjoyable trip. I was happy that the weather cooperated with us.

Unfortunately, I'm left feeling a bit anxious and frustrated now. Towards the end of the trip, John's girlfriend started getting upset with him, which made things a little unpleasant. This poly thing isn't easy. I've run into this sort of problem before and I'm sure this won't be the last time. It seems like my plans with people often get interrupted by the unhappy significant other. I'm also feeling anxious about starting a new job. It might be another 3 or 4 weeks until I know if I have the job at RPI. I'm starting to lose my patience. Still not even sure how much money I'll be making. Moving to a New York, away from Vermont, is a sad thing too. I'm going to miss Vermont. Moving in with Tom and his wife is also a little scary. I'm worried that it won't work out for various reasons. What will we do if things don't work out? I'm sad about the thought of getting rid of 2 of my 3 cats. I don't have much of a choice though since we can't have 5 cats (Tom's 2 and my 3) in a small apartment. Finances are tight these days, which I'm trying to work out. Lastly, Tom is stressed, which means I'm stressed. *sighs* I just wish things would happen faster. I hate waiting in limbo, wondering what to expect.

Daddy and Me

I went to visit my Tom Daddy man again this weekend. As I walked into the apartment late Saturday night, the first thing I noticed was a cloth diaper set up for me on the bed. I protested that I was a big girl and could use the potty but Daddy didn't believe me. Good thing I guess because it wasn't long before I was wet. Daddy decided that I couldn't sleep the whole night in a wet dider so he changed me and we fell asleep as I cuddled his koala bear teddy. The next morning, I was wet again. I couldn't help it! Daddy told me not to take my diaper off by myself. I couldn't hold it anymore. He must have thought this was hot because he decided to pull my diaper to the side and have some adult fun with me. *blushes*

Saturday was fun. Tom and I went to look at a potential apartment for his wife and the two of us. Then we went climbing with a friend. I FINALLY made it up one of the walls that has had me stumped since I first started climbing. It was terrifying but completely satisfying. I feel like my fear of swinging when I fall is growing though, which is limiting my ability to climb other walls. Definitely a mental thing that I need to beat. After climbing, we went to dinner with an ageplaying couple, then went to an Apex class on how to be a good dungeon monitor. We were supposed to play after the class but it didn't happen.

The next day, Tom and I had a picnic with friends. We played some kubb, a lawn game that can be described as part horseshoes and part bowling, which was fun. We ate lots of food, played with ice cubes, and made our way around a tree as we ran away from the sun. After the picnic, Tom and I went rollerblading by the river, which we haven't done since last year. I'm definitely out of shape. As we were leaving, we caught some fireworks. It was kind of romantic actually. We ran through the streets of Albany hand in hand and watched the fireworks at the top of the bridge overlooking the river. After the fireworks, we ate dinner at one of my favorite Indian restaurants where I ordered dinner for Tom, and then we went home to watch a movie with ice cream and amaretto. It was a really great day.

Sad News and Happy News

I've been keeping quite busy lately. I had another interview at the college in Albany. I think it went well. I'm hoping that it's just a matter of time before they hire me. I guess I have one more interview to go through. Wish me luck! I've also been busy training for the 2012 Walt Disney World Marathon in January. It's going well so far. I have a long way to go though. I ended up finding one of my 2 lost pacies in the pocket of a jacket that I used on a rainy day run. That was nice. Some unfortunate news is that I won't be able to make it to Dark Odyssey Fusion, which I've already paid for, and I'm struggling to find a way to get to Floating World. Money is tight right now, especially with my new car and the possibility of a move soon. I'm still working on it though. Hopefully I'll figure something out.

Baby Andy on the Radio

A Fetlife friend contacted his local radio station and asked to be on the show a little while ago. I think it went well except that they didn't allow him to talk very much and they kept exaggerating the words "Adult Baby." They were definitely trying to push the shock factor but I think Baby Andy did a pretty good job of keeping it reigned in. Here's the link:
http://www2.wkrz.com/listen/526-adult-baby-baby-andy-studio-talk-about-infantilism

Littles Night @ The Society - Slumber Party

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Eye Candy

So pretty! I had to stop myself from diving in.

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Camp Crucible - Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

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Camp Crucible - Thursday

On Thursday, Tom and I got up early to go to the zoo in DC. It took us forever to get there because of traffic. Once we finally made it, we ate some very tasty Indian food and headed inside. We had a lot of fun. I especially enjoyed seeing the gorillas, orangutans, and lions. Tom and I had managed to get the a gorilla interested in us at one point and then a swarm of little kids came running over and scared him away. Unfortunately, we weren't able to see the giant pandas or red pandas, which we were both looking forward to. Towards the end of the day, our feet started to hurt too badly to keep going so we headed home. We only got to about 2/3 of the zoo. Turns out we missed out on a lot of fun at camp but I didn't mind. We got back just in time for the auction. Tom and I were going to auction ourselves off buy decided against it at the last minute. Not sure why. I think Tom would have enjoyed being auctioned off. He did last year. I ended up bidding on Uncle Denny though and won. It's been a couple if days and I honestly can't remember what else happened that night. It was definitely a good day though.

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Camp Crucible - Wednesday

Today was a very nice relaxing day. We sat by the pond for a while this morning to admire nature's work. There were dragonflies, water bugs, different kinds of fish, turtles, frogs, and various birds. It was very peaceful. We went to a male masturbation class where I learned 101 things to do with a limp dick. That helped me open up a bit and be more comfortable handling Tom's...package. We went into town for a bit to cool off in the air conditioning and bought some beverages to replace our missing electrolytes. Felt much more alive after that. Then we went to a needle play class, which turned out to be much more informative than I was expecting. After dinner, Tom was kidnapped. He almost got away but we managed to take him down. He was dragged to the dungeon called "heaven" and cathed. Then I dressed him in super thick diapers, pink frilly plastic pants, crinoline, and a pretty pink dress. I put his hair in pigtails and sent him off to work in the casino. Unfortunately, the day ended with me finding out that my cat got out of the house at home and has been missing for 4 days. Hopefully my family and neighbors can find him.

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Camp Crucible - Tuesday

Tuesday was hot!!! We spent most of the day hopping in and out of the pool. I did get some puppy time though. It took me a while to get into the headspace but I had a great time once I finally got there. Tom tied me to a tree and then played fetch and tug of war with me. I love tug of war. I got to drink out of my water bowl and chew on a stick and sit quietly at Tom's feet. It was wonderful. People kept passing by and smiling at me. Not the reaction I was expecting. It was definitely encouraging. I also found out that there are a few other girl puppies around. It's nice to know because I've only ever come across male leather puppies.

After dinner, Tom and I went to make smores by the fire. Bethie gave me an awesome little sippy cup with my name on it. Then we checked out the firefly field. It was beautiful! To finish the night, Tom took me to the dungeon called Hell and strung me up. He started beating me with sticks and the hairbrush and a flogger. For some reason, I started to feel angry so I fought a little. I think it was simply because I was worn out and fussy over the heat. After only a short time, I cried out to him to stop and started balling. Thankfully, Tom wasn't upset and took care of me.

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Calo Crucible - Monday

As soon as I woke up on Monday morning, I was ambushed! Tom and RS glued my fingers together with super glue so that I couldn't do anything without help. They put me in a diaper and dressed me up in little clothing. At breakfast, I tried to eat on my own but I kept making a mess so they took over for me. RS didn't do much better though. He got food all over my face. After breakfast, I did some crafts at the littles oasis (coloring and making necklaces for the mardis gras float) and then went for a swim. There was lunch after that followed by a thug play class. RS and Tom decided to gang up on me and left some bruises to show but I learned a thing or two myself to use on Tom. Later in the day, we went to a class on suturing. Strange thing about the suturing class...I had a hard time watching it despite the fact that I would love having it done to me. Then there was more pool time and water fights. I was held out of the water for a spanking at one point. I quickly found out that I have many friends around camp willing to lend a helpful hand. *rolls eyes* Yowzer! Wet spankings always hurt more. After that was dinner and the auction. Tom helped in a kidnapping and then we had some diaper time in the tent with Mako and Johnny. I put all 3 of them in super thick diapers and then gave them some "special" massages and spankings. It was so much fun to have 3 squirming melty headed boys. I was surprised that I was able to do that. I don't think I could have done much more though.

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Camp Crucible - Saturday and Sunday

Saturday was filled with a little bit of crazy. I decided to leave for Albany a little earlier than planned and ended up watching Kung Fu Panda 2 at the theater, which was thoroughly enjoyable...just so ya know. Then I wandered aimlessly around the mall to kill time until I happened across a costume store. I drooled over all of the vintage dresses and masks for a while and eventually bought a pretty cat mask for the mardi gras formal dinner.

Finally Tom got home from his SCA event and we began the packing frenzy. SCA stuff out, LOTS of camp stuff in. The car was packed tight. We arrived at camp at 2am and crashed in one of the cabins. Unfortunately, neither of us slept very well. The mattresses were uncomfortable, it was hot and, worst of all, the cabin was infested with stink bugs.

When we woke up this morning, we ate and then set up Tom's gigondonormous SCA tent, unpacked, and showered. That was followed by lunch, a class on keeping your headspace, Mako's ageplay class, a nap by accident, and then dinner. After dinner, we went for a swim which was super awesome. Two friends joined so we had a water cannon fight and played on this huge water toy. Two people would hop on and try to push each other off. Of course we were naked so that made it even better. So fun! When we were done with the pool, Tom and I had tent sex and now we're doing chores...dungeon master at the bat cave. Who knows what will happen after this.

I think the best part of the day was being really little. Tom helped wash me in the shower with the new monkey luffa that he bought and then he helped me brush my teefers. He fed me and talked little to me. He helped me put on my tinkerbell floaters for the pool and made sure I didn't lose my balloon. It was awesome! Thank you Daddy!

Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring. Camp, camp, campity camp!

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Shapes Mac and Cheese

Mmmm.....shapes mac and cheese. Makes me happy. One of my favorite meals as a little. I swear it tastes better than regular mac and cheese. The shapes hold the cheese better! I swear they do!

Little Time

My little came out a lot this past weekend...which is a little surprising considering the fact that I had so much family around. It was fun though and I didn't care what anyone thought. I bounced and squealed and talked little. Tom and I went to see Rio in 3D which was awesome with awesome sauce! I giggled at the funny parts right along with all of the other kids in the theater. I teetered in the puddles when we went for a walk and squished my toes into the mud. Tom held my hand when crossing the streets. It was fabulous. I love being this kind of little. Sweet and innocent and pure and fun and care free. No expectations. I love it!

Blood Runs Thicker Than Water

...Or so they say. I have been repeatedly surprised to find that my friends are more like family to me than my actual family. My little sister graduated college this past weekend so family from both sides came down to celebrate. Made for a very long and stressful day. I can't even tell you exactly what went wrong because there was hardly any drama at all this time. Still, you could feel the tension under the surface of fake laughter and tight smiles. Tom didn't really understand why I was upset but I looked at my family and could see all of the skeletons and dirty laundry and disappointment. He did experience the cold rejection of my stepmother though and was not pleased. We took a break after one of the get togethers to regroup. I cried and felt better. As soon as my family left and I started focusing on my own world again, the clouds lifted and I loved life again.

My family is very judgmental. They have a way of making my sisters and I feel bad about the choices that we've made in life. I was supposed to finish college. I was supposed to marry some good looking Canadian Christian and have lots of babies....because that's what's expected. I was supposed to follow the crowd. I wasn't supposed to become poly. I wasn't supposed to have friends who are into alternative lifestyles. I wasn't supposed to be happy doing what I'm doing now. Luckily, my friends accept me for who I am. They encourage me to be myself and to do what I like to do. They lift me up and give me wings to fly. My family can be poisonous. They're dangerous. My friends, on the other hand, are like a breath of fresh air. They have changed my life...and possibly even saved it. Thank you all so much for being a part of my world.
 

Visits

So my dearest Andrea came to visit me for a few nights this week. It was so nice to have her here. We ran some errands and then mostly relaxed at the house. There was lots of girl talk and flirting with the boys via text. I ended up spilling all of my personal secrets to her. I was surprised by that but I guess it means I feel pretty comfortable with her. We have similar pasts...or at least struggles. I kinda look at her like an older sister. Her and I ended up doing a mini scene, which included her rubbing my sternum. Who would have thought that a sternum rub would be a turn on? *shrugs* She also fish hooked me when I tried to bite her. I thought that was pretty hot too. For some reason, it brought out a tiny bit of my puppy side. Maybe it's because it was controlling and kind of humiliating. I can't wait to spend more time with her. I wish we lived closer together.

Locke is coming to visit me next week. Apparently, we've both had an interest in each other for quite a while but we're both pretty shy so neither of us knew about it. We're going to see where things go. He's such a gentleman, a very very dark and dirty one, but a gentlemen none the less. He's got some crazy dark interests that I'm looking forward to exploring...and he likes tea and the outdoors. It's so strange to think about possibly having another partner. John and I have been on again off again forever so it didn't feel so odd having him and Tom as partners. Now, John is more of a best friend, which means that Tom has been my only partner for a while. Bringing someone new into the picture is so....new and different and exciting and scary and strange. I hope everything doesn't explode. I don't think it will but I'm still so new to poly. I don't know what to expect.

Tom and I have been going absolutely bonkers. We haven't seen each other for almost a month. We were seeing each other almost every week before this. It was hard to switch gears. We're missing each other like mad. I can't wait for him to get here. He's visiting me this weekend, arriving tonight. I want to be in his arms so badly. I can't wait to see my Daddy. Ella has been missing him too. Tom brought her out last night while on the phone. He spoke to me in the most perfect way. It felt so wonderful. I can't wait to see him again.

Age Play in the Popular Media

Another podcast! Check it out at The Big Little Podcast!

"Our friend Ella, who was featured on the TV program The Secret Lives of Women, joins us again. We talk about some recent coverage and depictions on age play on TV, the radio, and even in the news. Ella gives us a deeper look at how her show segment was made and we share some recommendations for folks who find themselves in the eye of the media."