When I first arrived, I was brought into the bedroom for a diaper and wardrobe change. Mommy had me lie down on the bed on top of her lovely hand made changing pad. She made sure that there was support for my head and then handed me a stuffie to hold onto. She got the diaper positioned just right and then filled the room up with clouds of powder, dusting some on my arm pits, on my belly, on my thighs, and of course, in my diaper. She rubbed it all in and pulled the tapes tight. She then ran her hands inside the leg gathers with some extra powder to help stave off diaper rash and chafing. To finish off, she carefully neatened up the edges and tucked in the flaps.
Once Mommy was confident that my diaper was tight and comfy, she had me kneel on the floor in front of her so she could slip my dress on over my head. I felt so little. I gave her a tight squeeze around her waist and nuzzled into her breasts. She pointed to the floor between her legs where I sat down so she could put my hair into pigtails.
After everyone was dressed and ready, it was time for Mommy and the rest of her band to do a quick rehearsal for their show the next day. Watching them play is a lot of fun. The lyrics to their songs are so meaningful to me and it makes me happy to see them smiling their beautiful smiles at each other. Eventually, guests started to show up and it was time to party so we all headed outside through the window into the backyard. The night was spent listening to friends play their instruments and sing while watching the fireflies flicker through the magical garden. The four babies giggled while sharing a single sausage back and forth. At one point I started to feel a little dizzy so I went to sit next to Mommy. She leaned over and whispered in my ear that I was safe. It sounded like tiny bells and felt like warm honey. I really did feel safe and cared for. Eventually people started to file out and Mommy and the babies snuggled in the moonlight until early morning.
We took the next morning slow after staying up so late the night before. Some babies took bubble baths while others took turns eating breakfast in the high chair. I was fed some baby food in the chair and then played with some different musical instruments that Mommy took out for us. I was really able to sink down into that little head space for a while. The world disappeared and I became hyper focused on my immediate surroundings and the task that I was involved in.
Later in the morning we headed out into the city. We ran a few errands and then went to the local park for mimosas. Mommy had brought my little buzzy egg vibrator with her. The batteries were dead but she decided to put it inside of me anyway. I was hesitant at first but Mommy has a way of making things feel safe so I let her do it. She scooted up close and deftly slid her fingers into the side of the diaper pushing the toy inside. I glanced around nervously but nobody was paying attention. She pulled Lettice over and fed him a bottle and then did the same for me. A man who had be sitting nearby walked over and asked if we were an acting group. Mommy confidently answered "No. We're just people." And then, to my surprised, he asked if he could sit and chat for a while.
That evening, we packed up my car with the drums, amps, and guitars and headed to the Tarot Society to play some music. Not too long after arriving, we were handed copies of someone's drawings and a basket of crayons to color so we sat down on the floor and got to work. When it was time for Mommy to play, she was missing a mic stand so I offered to "stand" in (get it? get it? Hahahaha!!!). It was nice to feel like part of the crew. A friend of theirs got up to play and announced that he knew there were babies in the crowd so he'd play a few nursery rhyme type songs for us. It was really bizarre to be called out like that but everyone was cool with it.
The next morning, Josh left early so Mommy came in to snuggle and chat with me. It was nice to talk with her. It was the first time that we were able to talk together for any length of time. I enjoyed getting to know her better. I had always felt like there was some sort of connection but I didn't know her at all. I hope that we have more opportunities to do this. Eventually we hopped up and went to snuggle with Johnny who was still sleepy so we moved on down the hall to snuggle with Lettice and then further down the hall into the shower. The three of us helped each other wash up. Mommy was VERY thorough. :-) After we were all dressed, we headed to a local breakfast spot for some SUPER yummy biscuit sandwiches and then to the beach.
The drive to the beach was SOOOOO stressful for me. City driving is tough. My ADD brain had trouble focusing because there were so many things going on around me....pedestrians, traffic signals, other cars, signs, conversation in the car. We did eventually make it though. It was amazing to swim in the ocean. It's been so long since I've swam in the ocean. Mommy held Lettice and I like babies in the water and talked about fantasies of us being physically little so she really could hold us like that. We lounged around under the sun shade for a while, drinking beer, eating tortillas, and chatting about sand castles. It was bliss.
Meeting Julie and Lettice and Johnny has changed me. I feel like I just stumbled across a new door in my head that I had forgotten was there. I'm exploring this new room filled with creative ideas that I stored away long ago because I was too afraid to do it wrong or didn't have the time to mess with it. I also feel much more free to just be me. Logically, I've always known that people don't care about what we're doing but it's easy to forget. It's easy to let fear get in the way. You can't let fear stop you though or you'll never know all the things that you can do. I can't wait to visit again.
