Monday, December 19, 2016
Know Who You Are
"I have crossed the horizon to find you. I know your name. They've stolen the heart from inside you, but this does not define you. This is not who you are. You know who you are."
This song from the movie Moana speaks to me. Over the years, I've bumped into quite a few selfish and harmful people. Each of those interactions left a dark mark on me and sometimes, those dark marks grow and take hold of my heart. I end up feeling angry and resentful. I feel the urge to hide and close up. I feel rumbly and firey inside, like Te Ka in the movie. That's not who I really am though. I'm rainbows and sparkles and giggles and wiggles. I'm like Te Fiti. Even when I'm playing on the edge of darkness with pain and control, I'm still me. I have to remember to stay true to myself when the darkness starts to creep in. I have to remember my friends and family who are good people. They love me and take such great care of me. I have to remember all of the positive experiences that I've had with people, at Invasions and other events.Those are the experiences that really matter. Those are the people who keep my heart warm and strong.
I highly recommend this movie. The graphics are amazing. Seriously, I can't believe how awesome the hair looks. And the colors are so vibrant and cheery! The story will give you the feels. I cried....a lot. Maui, HeiHei, and Tala are hilarious! I laughed....a lot. The soundtrack will give you chills. Just....go see it. You won't regret it.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Invasion Puppy Play
This past weekend was Invasion weekend. Ash came and brought her sweet puppy Scott. I've been wanting to tousle with him since I first met him several months ago. We chatted about playing together and I mentioned that I had never really played with another puppy before so I was nervous. Throughout the evening, he gently coaxed me out of my shell and had me gearing up for some puppy play by the end of the night.
Onii helped me put on my mitts and then had to run off for a minute before putting on my collar. I had to wait for him to come back before playing because I just couldn't go on without my collar. I'm so connected to it. What a relief it was to have it firmly snapped around my neck. I was happy to have my master around too while playing with another pup for the first time.
Puppy and I wrestled for a bit. At one point, he jumped on top of me and bit at the scruff of my neck a bit. I momentarily snapped out of puppy space in complete elation before diving right back in and pinning him to the ground. Eventually, I nuzzled the bag that had my toys in it. Ash tossed a squeaker bone out. Puppy and I both went after it. It was really fun trying to get it away from him and then pouncing on it to make it squeak. It wasn't great for playing tug o war with though so Ash threw out the braided rope toy. We had a blast pulling each other back and forth. I was a little worried that I would hurt Puppy because I can get pretty into the tug o war game. I've pulled so hard that my ears started ringing. It builds up some crazy muscles, I'll tell ya. Finally, the ball was tossed into the mix. I SUPER DUPER loved playing fetch, especially because the ball was just a bit bouncy. It rolled back and forth between Puppy and I while we both tried to grab it.
At one point, Puppy took off into the other room and I followed. Onii and Ash chased after us and brought us back to the mats. We tried wandering off one other time but Onii called me back so I obediently returned and heeled next to him. I'm not really sure what Puppy did. My focus was on Onii in the moment. I really enjoyed the feelings I was having toward Onii at the moment. Complete trust and wanting to please.
Eventually, Puppy and I were tuckered out and flopped down next to each other, panting. Ash and Onii brought us bowls of cool fresh water. I drained mine pretty quickly while Puppy slowly slurped at his. He took a step back for a moment and was encouraged to keep drinking. He cleverly swapped my empty bowl for his so he could be done but it was promptly filled up with more water. We all laughed.
"Wanna go for a walk?" Onii asked. My ears perked up and I bumbled over to the bag with my leash in it, pulling it out with my teeth. Puppy and I walked in line from one room to another, getting scritches from friends along the way. It was nice. We ended up in the littles room where there was a huge dog crate.
Puppy and I both climbed inside the crate together. I didn't think we'd fit but somehow we did, and pretty comfortably too. There was a santa hat sitting on the top of the crate and, of course, we tried to pull it down but Onii was too quick for us. We eventually hunkered down, wrapping ourselves up in a big mushy puppy pile of snuggles. It was so wonderful. I truly felt like a fuzzy pup. Eventually Onii and Ash wandered off and left us to relax and chat. It was amazing. I can't wait to play again.
Onii helped me put on my mitts and then had to run off for a minute before putting on my collar. I had to wait for him to come back before playing because I just couldn't go on without my collar. I'm so connected to it. What a relief it was to have it firmly snapped around my neck. I was happy to have my master around too while playing with another pup for the first time.
Puppy and I wrestled for a bit. At one point, he jumped on top of me and bit at the scruff of my neck a bit. I momentarily snapped out of puppy space in complete elation before diving right back in and pinning him to the ground. Eventually, I nuzzled the bag that had my toys in it. Ash tossed a squeaker bone out. Puppy and I both went after it. It was really fun trying to get it away from him and then pouncing on it to make it squeak. It wasn't great for playing tug o war with though so Ash threw out the braided rope toy. We had a blast pulling each other back and forth. I was a little worried that I would hurt Puppy because I can get pretty into the tug o war game. I've pulled so hard that my ears started ringing. It builds up some crazy muscles, I'll tell ya. Finally, the ball was tossed into the mix. I SUPER DUPER loved playing fetch, especially because the ball was just a bit bouncy. It rolled back and forth between Puppy and I while we both tried to grab it.
At one point, Puppy took off into the other room and I followed. Onii and Ash chased after us and brought us back to the mats. We tried wandering off one other time but Onii called me back so I obediently returned and heeled next to him. I'm not really sure what Puppy did. My focus was on Onii in the moment. I really enjoyed the feelings I was having toward Onii at the moment. Complete trust and wanting to please.
Eventually, Puppy and I were tuckered out and flopped down next to each other, panting. Ash and Onii brought us bowls of cool fresh water. I drained mine pretty quickly while Puppy slowly slurped at his. He took a step back for a moment and was encouraged to keep drinking. He cleverly swapped my empty bowl for his so he could be done but it was promptly filled up with more water. We all laughed.
"Wanna go for a walk?" Onii asked. My ears perked up and I bumbled over to the bag with my leash in it, pulling it out with my teeth. Puppy and I walked in line from one room to another, getting scritches from friends along the way. It was nice. We ended up in the littles room where there was a huge dog crate.
Puppy and I both climbed inside the crate together. I didn't think we'd fit but somehow we did, and pretty comfortably too. There was a santa hat sitting on the top of the crate and, of course, we tried to pull it down but Onii was too quick for us. We eventually hunkered down, wrapping ourselves up in a big mushy puppy pile of snuggles. It was so wonderful. I truly felt like a fuzzy pup. Eventually Onii and Ash wandered off and left us to relax and chat. It was amazing. I can't wait to play again.
Puppy Headspace
I sometimes have a hard time getting into puppy space because my silly gollum voice gets in the way. I worry about how I look. My hair is a mess. I'm sweaty. I'm jiggly and wiggly all over the place. My makeup is smearing. My tail looks funny. I also worry about how I sound. I'm growling too much. I'm too loud. I'm too high pitched. It doesn't sound real enough. I worry that I'm annoying people. What if they think this is silly? What if they don't WANT to pet me? What if I'm interrupting something? It's usually pretty stressful at first.
Eventually though, with encouragement, I fully submerge into that wonderful head space. My brain goes away and it's pure bliss. My senses seem to heighten. The cool water feels so refreshing against my lips and tongue. The clink of my tags against the bowl is deafening. I want nothing more than to play fetch and tug o war and to see the people around me smile. My master becomes God. Time no longer exists. I'm insanely happy and playful and carefree. I don't worry about anything anymore. NOTHING. I feel like my true self really gets to shine through.
Puppy play combines the things that I love the most about both ageplay and BDSM. I'm stripped down to nothing but my collar (at home anyway). I'm placed on all fours. I can't use my hands. I'm not allowed to speak. I must obey orders. In the past, I've been stripped of regular bathroom privileges. I have no more control. I'm just an animal. My brain is gone and my master is God. Still though, I get to play and romp around and be silly and happy like a little would. It's the best of both worlds. I get to let go. It's beautiful.
I'm really happy that there seems to be more and more puppies coming out to play at the Littles Invasions. There were about four or five of us at the last one. One of them told me that there's a mosh group and munch regularly held in NYC. I'm really curious about going sometime. I want to have gear that helps me feel more confident before going though. I've thought about doing a pet play munch in the area and/or another pet play Invasion sometime. I think that would be fun. We'll see.
Can't wait to play again. :-)
Eventually though, with encouragement, I fully submerge into that wonderful head space. My brain goes away and it's pure bliss. My senses seem to heighten. The cool water feels so refreshing against my lips and tongue. The clink of my tags against the bowl is deafening. I want nothing more than to play fetch and tug o war and to see the people around me smile. My master becomes God. Time no longer exists. I'm insanely happy and playful and carefree. I don't worry about anything anymore. NOTHING. I feel like my true self really gets to shine through.
Puppy play combines the things that I love the most about both ageplay and BDSM. I'm stripped down to nothing but my collar (at home anyway). I'm placed on all fours. I can't use my hands. I'm not allowed to speak. I must obey orders. In the past, I've been stripped of regular bathroom privileges. I have no more control. I'm just an animal. My brain is gone and my master is God. Still though, I get to play and romp around and be silly and happy like a little would. It's the best of both worlds. I get to let go. It's beautiful.
I'm really happy that there seems to be more and more puppies coming out to play at the Littles Invasions. There were about four or five of us at the last one. One of them told me that there's a mosh group and munch regularly held in NYC. I'm really curious about going sometime. I want to have gear that helps me feel more confident before going though. I've thought about doing a pet play munch in the area and/or another pet play Invasion sometime. I think that would be fun. We'll see.
Can't wait to play again. :-)
Sunday, December 4, 2016
The Pet (Full Movie)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS1HJWtilIE
Not the greatest movie but it's about puppy girls so I dig it.
"A young woman struggling through emotional and financial ruin becomes drawn to an aristocratic benefactor. She desperately needs to be loved and cared for, and he is struggling to overcome the loss of his setter, a loyal and devoted pet. Eventually, and for a large sum of money, she agrees to be his pet for six months, living in a cage, never wearing clothes, and being led on a leash."
Not the greatest movie but it's about puppy girls so I dig it.
"A young woman struggling through emotional and financial ruin becomes drawn to an aristocratic benefactor. She desperately needs to be loved and cared for, and he is struggling to overcome the loss of his setter, a loyal and devoted pet. Eventually, and for a large sum of money, she agrees to be his pet for six months, living in a cage, never wearing clothes, and being led on a leash."
Mini Skirt Waddles
A month or two ago, Tom and I went for a walk around the neighborhood after dinner. Tom decided that I needed to wear a SUPER DUPER thick diaper and a short, tight, shiny mini skirt. I was really anxious about going out like this because it was pretty obvious that I was wearing a diaper but I figured it was dark and late so we would be safe. I thought wrong. As we walked, my smooth skirt would ride up against the slick plastic surface of the diaper. If I didn't consistently work at keeping it down, it would ride up so high that my diaper would start to peek out from the bottom. Every now and then, Tom would tell me to leave it and I would stare straight ahead, trying not to think about who might possibly be seeing. The problem was, the neighborhood was hopping!!! There were cars with bright headlights shining directly at me EVERYWHERE! There was more than one occasion when my skirt was hiked up pretty far, not quite showing, but almost, and I just didn't feel comfortable making a scene and trying to slide it back down. I was definitely showing some leg. It was quite the exciting walk.
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