June 23, 2009 - January AB B&B Visit

Saturday morning finally arrived. I was on my way to see my friends at their AB bed and breakfast. As I waited for my baggage in Baltimore, butterflies turned in my stomach. A million questions ran through my head. What am I getting into? How old is everyone? What is everyone like when they are little? Will I be judged for being myself? Are they going to want me to play with them in a sexual way? What will it be like sleeping in a crib? Will any of the dresses that they have fit me? What will we be doing exactly? ....and on and on and on. Finally my friend arrived and so did my bag. The questions running through my head stopped but the butterflies doubled.

When we got to the car, Chrissy asked me if I wanted to sit in the car seat. I thought it was really sweet of her to think about bringing it for me. I said yes and she set it up in the backseat. I was very nervous at first about being seen in it. I find that when I get nervous like that, I get tunnel vision. All I see is the person I'm talking to. Everything else goes away. It helps me stay calm and just enjoy the moment...and I did enjoy the moment. I really enjoyed being able to swing my legs back and forth. I felt very little. I wish it weren't so high though. I couldn't see outside. Maybe I should have brought my 5-point harness, I thought. I wouldn't have had room for it though.

Little time started as soon as I entered the house. After giving Bethie and Denny a quick hug and hello and getting a small tour of the house, I was whisked away to be put in a diaper and dress. Awkward would be the word to describe how that went...at first. I was bound onto the gyno table, had a pacifier shoved in my mouth, and a bib tied around my neck before smiling for pictures. After pictures came the diapers. Chrissy thought that her and I were the same size. It was flattering at first but when she tried to put her cloth diapers on me and they didn't fit, I started feeling embarrassed and ashamed. It didn't help that the legs on the table put me in a difficult position to be diapered. It was an overwhelming first experience.

That feeling dissipated quickly after I climbed into the playpen downstairs. There's just something about playpens that make me feel so little. It was fun to play with the dance mat that had been placed in the crib. Then I was askedif I wanted some chair time. I said sure, not certain of what I was agreeing to. Chair time involved sitting on Nanny P's lap in the big leather chair for story time. It wasn't long before I felt myself slip away into little headspace. Unfortunately, I spoke in my little voice and told her that the Zultan figure that I was staring at was scary. She didn't understand what I was saying. Her reaction set me up to stay out of a deep headspace for the rest of the weekend. It wasn't her fault, I was just...shy.

Then it was lunch time. I was helped into the big blue highchair, had a bib tied around my neck, and my lunch placed before me. Being able to drink out of a bottle, eat with my fingers, and be served my lunch in those cute little baby bowls was so exciting for me. Bottles are another thing that make me feel so little. I really enjoyed it. Throughout lunch I drifted in and out of little space as the topic of conversation changed.

Sometime after lunch, everyone headed upstairs for some BDSM playtime. After coming down from subspace and cleaning up a bit, my Uncle Denny changed my diaper. What a calming experience. I felt so little. I was then taken by the hand and brought downstairs to watch the remainder of The Goonies with the rest of the gang. After that, we had dinner. This time I sat in the brown highchair, which quickly became my favorite. It made me feel like a real little girl. I liked how similar it was to the chairs I sat in when I was a baby. It didn't hurt that it was more stable and closer to the ground than the other ones.

After dinner we headed for the hot tub. There was some entertaining conversation about past years at Camp Crucible and memories from days gone by. Soon it was time to dry off and settle down for a movie. We all cuddled up on the floor for the Tinkerbell movie and some popcorn. Again I got to drink from my beautiful bottle. I can't get enough of the bottle. When the movie was over, I was taken by the hand for a diaper change and bedtime. Once I was tucked in, my Uncle Denny brought in the baby monitor and said goodnight. It wasn't long before I was sleeping soundly.

The next morning I woke up early, as I always do. I sat up in my crib listening hard to see if anyone was awake. No sound was heard. I sat there for a long time watching the room light up as the sun rose outside. Again, I drifted in and out of little space. Part of me wanted to call for someone and throw my teddy bear out of frustration that I was stuck until someone helped me. Part of me respected the fact that everyone was tired from the night before and might not want to get up at the same time I do. I considered the fact that I could get out myself if I really wanted to. That wouldn't have been any fun though. Finally I heard people talking downstairs. Luckily, I felt the need to sneeze at around that time which caught Nanny P's attention over the baby monitor. She came in and let me out of the crib. I rushed downstairs to see everyone sitting on the couch. I was excited that the day had finally started. As excited as I was, looking back now, it's hard to remember the exact order of events.

Once everyone was downstairs, we all sat down for breakfast. More high chairs, bibs, bottles, finger food, baby bowls, and little headspace. I can't get enough of that. Then I got to change into the pretty pink dress that bethie and Denny let me have. I felt so girly in it. I loved it! It would be my first real baby dress. After getting changed, I headed into the bedroom to help Chrissy out with a fantasy of hers. I won't go into much detail here since it was mostly about her. I'll simply state that I was uncomfortable at first but it wasn't long before I got into the picture taking aspect of it. I'm very imaginative so I enjoyed being able to get creative with angles and lighting. When that scene was through, we all headed back downstairs for lunch. After lunch, we all got cleaned up for a photo shoot in the crib, which was lots of fun. Then we had some more BDSM playtime.

After coming back to reality and getting a diaper change, I headed downstairs for some dinner. Yummy! Then it was time for some hilarious Jeff Dunham. He's gotta be one of my favorite comedians now. I like that it's clean (for the most part) and politically incorrect. I'm not sure what happened after that because I was starting to get sleepy. I think a movie was put in or maybe everyone started talking. It wasn't long before I fell asleep on the floor though. Before I knew it, I was being taken by the hand and led upstairs. Once in bed, I fell right back to sleep.

The next morning I was let out of the crib early. It was a sad day and you could feel it in the house. It was departure day. I took a shower and got dressed in my big girl clothes. *pout* I packed some things up and then headed downstairs for breakfast. Breakfast was delicious. Even though I couldn't sit in the highchair, I still got to use the bottle and a bib. I didn't want to let go of little time. I had as many bottles as I could fit into breakfast. I couldn't hold on forever though. I helped pack everything into my friend's van and then got led into the barn by Uncle Denny. He showed me the wonderful space he had there that he was going to turn into a BDSM wonderland. Unfortunately, all of this couldn't last forever. It was time to go. I put on my coat and said some sad goodbyes.

I won't ever forget this wonderful weekend. I'll come back to visit as often as possible. I can't wait to see everyone again. It's really hard to truly explain how I feel about the weekend. It was special in so many ways.

I forgot about the magic show!!! How could I forget to add that in? The show was terrific. I'm still trying to figure out how some of those tricks worked. It was another one of those times when I felt really little. I know that you're supposed to just accept it all as magic but I had a fun time trying to figure out how the tricks were done. I figured some of them out but then there were others that I'm still mystified about.

June 17, 2007 - Diaper Party

I just realized that I never wrote about THIS years Diaper-fest. It was actually called the Diaper Party this year because it was organized by different people. Same place and same events though. Daddy and I couldn't stay the whole weekend so we only went Saturday. We stopped in at Daddy's parent's house on the way to drop off our things since we'd be staying there that night. They don't know about any of this so we just told them that we were going to visit my family. I was wearing pigtails and a VERY thick diaper at the time though so I was a bit nervous. Of course my Daddy's mom kept commenting on the pigtails...nonstop...constantly. I wanted to get out of there so badly.

Once we finally did get out of there, Daddy and I had some yummy lunch at a local restaurant with a couple of our AB friends. I wanted my sippy cup sooooo badly. I also wished I had a bib at the time. I just can't seem to eat anything without getting it on me. After lunch, the couple went off to do some sightseeing while Daddy and I visited the Vann Trapp Family Lodge. The view is just gorgeous from up there....and I got to pet a BIG horse which made my day. There are also some beautiful places for a wedding. :)

After our visit to the lodge, we headed out to the party. When we got there, I got changed into my red outfit and met up with the couple that we had lunch with earlier. They showed us the large baby furniture that was set up in the game room. That's when the photo shoot started. I loved being in the high chair. I felt so little in it. One of my friends was really enjoying the rocking horse next to me. It looked like so much fun that I needed to try so I hopped on. It was terrifying!!! I was sure I was going to tip right over and fall off. Daddy had to hold me. You can actually see his hand holding the horse for me in the picture. I still want one though. I'm sure I'd get used to it in time.

The photo shoot was paused briefly while I said hello to another AB couple who arrived. I had visited them at their AB bed and breakfast back in January. I just realized I didn't write about that either. That will be next. Anyway, we took a few more photos and then headed down to dinner. Dinner was, as usual, fabulous. All the little ones had their bibs and bottles ready to go. I wanted to eat with my hands but nobody else was so Daddy told me I wasn't allowed to use my utensils. I appreciate it when he does this. It takes the embarrassment off of me since I have to do what he says and he knows I really want to anyway. It's a big help.

After dinner it was time for the drag show. What a great show. There were a few new people who were in the show this time. They were having some technical difficulties though so it lasted A LOT longer than it was supposed to. I think that Miss Conception and her crew were getting a little tired at the end. It was really hot in the room and they were starting to fall apart. I felt bad for them. Still, a great performance.

Then came the sad goodbye. Thankfully we made plans with the bed and breakfast couple to meet again in September and I'll be going to an antique show with the other couple sometime in the fall as well.