July 12, 2007 - Reconditioning

I was working on being incontinent for a while but then I stopped because life got too busy. I'm trying to start up again but it's a lot harder this time around. I use Depends Udjustable Underwear and they've leaked so many times that now I'm completely paranoid about wetting out in public. When I say they leak, I mean that it looks as if I just had an accident. My whole pant leg ends up being soaked. It's like the diaper shifts and bunches up so it doesn't catch the urine. I can't have this happen at work. I'm looking for another kind of diaper to use. This is going to take some work, reconditioning really, for me to be able to wet my diaper like I used to out in public. It's so discouraging because I got pretty far with it the first time. I'm disappointed in myself when I find myself holding it in but I'm so scared. I shouldn't stress about it though because it's not really THAT important. Then again, maybe the stress itself will give me real incontinence problems which would be a good thing for me.

April 28, 2007 - Plastic Pants

I ended up buying some plastic pants. They're pink with little stars all over them. When I first tried them on, they seemed to fit well around my waist and legs but there was a lot of extra plastic. I don't know if I got the wrong size or if they're meant to be this way. I know they're meant to be worn over cloth diapers which are bulkier but do people who are incontinent really wear diapers this bulky? How are they not noticed?

Anyway, I wore them to work the other day. Bad idea. They ended up feeling really tight around my legs by the end of the day and they were HOT, HOT, HOT. The sweat ended up getting absorbed into the elastic and leaking out making half moon marks on the back of my pants. I was mortified. I did everything possible to keep my behind turned away from everyone in the room. Eeek! I don't think I'll be wearing those again.

April 18, 2009 - Errands And A Soggy Diaper

This weekend was fun but I had to sit in a soggy diaper for a long time on Saturday. I will have to admit that I didn't really mind it all that much. Daddy had me wear one of the biggest bulkiest diapers we had and then had me add a couple of boosters to it. I could barely close my legs, it was so big. We spent the day running errands. Daddy kept making me drink all day. At first I didn't notice what he was doing until I started wetting the diaper every half hour. By the end of that day I was really uncomfortable. My diaper was very heavy and wet. I was sure that everyone could see it. Daddy insisted that they weren't and kept telling me to stop fussing. Finally we went home.

It wasn't long after that the diaper started leaking. Thank GOD we were home. My pants got dark and wet. I was so embarassed but Daddy was happy. He wanted to see me wet my pants. He still didn't let me change though. First we ate dinner, then he fed me a bottle, and FINALLY he changed me.

On a side note, I really wish I had my teddy bear with me. I packed it and left it at my Mom's house when I moved out. What's a babygirl to do without her best friend? Maybe I can go pick it up or buy a new one. I do have a nice fluffy baby blue blanket that I use quite often. It isn't quite the same though. Blue is for boys.

I bought a onesie to wear with my diaper but it was too big. I was so disappointed when I found out. Daddy also ordered some that are on their way. I think I might wear it anyway. Maybe a thicker diaper will fill it up a little. I'm hoping it will shrink in the wash.

I miss my daddy so much during the week. I only get to see him on the weekends. I feel bad about asking him to feed me but he says he doesn't mind. He thinks it's cute. He's surprised by how into this I'm getting. It was funny because when we were running errands this weekend we saw a parent changing their baby in the trunk of their SUV. Daddy asked me if I was jealous. I was embarassed to admit that I was a little jealous. I get really shy when my Daddy changes my diaper though. He knows it too. I'm slowly accepting the fact that I like and want this. I've even started asking Daddy for the baby things that I want. He is usually happy to oblige.